S1-041 Use Your Illusion
Use Your Illusion is the forty-first episode of Season One of Queens of Adventure. In it, the queens reach the final chambers inside Alighieri in hopes of curing what ails him. Synopsis In the hopes of recruiting local merfolk, the queens have traveled inside the deathly ill dragon-turtle Alighieri to locate the merfolk who went in before them to find a cure. With the help of a guide, Virgil, they have overcome many chambers filled with illusions. They emerge into a new one. Butylene, Londyn, and Gnomi are forced to confess secrets. The gnome researcher reveals his name isn't really Gnomi Malone. As the group jokes about the confessions, illusory figures briefly appears. Once confessed, the murkiness in the water clears, revealing a marbled art gallery. A figure turns to greet them: Dragon winged, scorpion tailed, lion pawed, and with an honest man's face. He welcomes to his gallery of forgeries. Fraya grabs the portable Hole of Glory and asks the receptionist to connect him to Patrick. It takes a moment before he appears, drenched in sweat. Patrick believes the creature is Geryon, a figure of lore, who would transport people who help him. He also hypothesizes the illusions the group sees may be related to Alighieri's nature as a storyteller. Fraya's worries Patrick is succumbing to the influence of the heart, and searching for it. She hands him a note (via the receptionist) asking whoever finds Patrick to answer the Hole if needed before commanding him to sleep. Geryon, once Fraya returns, asks the queens to help him locate authentic items in his collection, which he cannot abide. After Arson correctly finds the true Song of the Underdark, and Gnomi correctly finds a gown, Geryon destroys the authentic ones. He takes them to three copies of the Treaty of Fire Island. Fraya recalls her and Harlotte creating a forgery of the original, and they are able to correctly identify it. Geryon eats it, says they've made a great friend... or would have if he were real. The gallery and monster vanish, leaving behind only grubs. The queens, Gnomi, Virgil, and unconcious merfolk, press through the next fleshy portal into another chamber. The floor here is covered in ice and spiky boulders. Dark tendrils with tentacle veins form a stalk from floor to ceiling. As they swim across the room, they notice a figure attached to the stalk, seemingly unconscious but drifting towards them. Fraya recognizes her as Mystie, leader of the merfolk. Virgil gathers the unconscious merfolk back towards the entrance. A voice comes out of Mystie, but is not hers. It says Mystie is fine. The voice identifies themselves as Dampthroat, a servant of the Kracken, and asks the group to join them. The group rejects the offer and tries to decide how to proceed with freeing Mystie. Fraya tries to ask for Mystie, but Dampthroat says Mystie is a candidate for the next Kracken Priest, along with Gnomi. Dampthroat knows the queens came to the island looking for the treasure, and need to find the Ice Scepter. The Kracken knows where it is, and wants the group to have it. All they have to do is succumb to his influence. If they get the treasure of the Ziggurat for the Master, the Master would return Mystie. Londyn suggests a trade of other merfolk as a con, but Mystie's connection to Alighieri is too valuable for just any two merfolk. As the group debates ways to save Mystie, Dampthroat calls to Gnomi. They entice him to join them by saying they could return the world to the time of the Old Gods. The group reminds Gnomi about their last encounter with an Old God, Lolth. Gnomi allows himself to be pulled in by the tentacles, despite their efforts to pull him away or snap him out of it. Butylene suggests they sing songs to summon illusions to aide them in battle. As they debate, dozens of illusory celebrities appear around them. Dampthroat digs into the dragon turtle's memory and conjures an Asthmatic Space Swordsman. After several more celebrities, Fraya manages to conjure an illusion of herself before swimming towards the stalk. Arson and the group's own Space Swordsman swing their weapons to attack the connecting tendrils and a bonnet wearing wolf counters. Londyn, tired of all the illusions, casts dispel magic. All of the illusions, including the ice floor, vanish, leaving them in a dark chamber with the stock and Mystie and nothing else. Fraya stabs her trident into an eye on the stock, which twitches and sprays her with acid, which she barely dodges. Arson summons her pact weapon as a two handed sword, casts hex, and makes a bevy of attacks, severing many more more tendrils, but not avoiding an acid spray. Virgil manages to yank the unconcious merfolk away from more tentacles growing from the walls. Londyn attacks with flame blade, ''but misses. So he grabs Mystie, floating free in the water. Fraya ''calls lightning against the stock, but it hurts Gnomi, now attached to the stock. She swims towards him and he tries to pinch her, but misses. Butylene swims to the base of the stock and shoot firebolt at the top of the stock while her Flames of Phlegethon activates. Her firebolt misses, but her own flames manage to burn the base. She then sends Hella as a toad to the top, who tries to bite the top of the stock, missing. The stock casts Koochi's Hideous Laughter, on them all. Only Arson resists. She switches her hex to the main stock and uses a poison spray. The stock settles and releases Gnomi. Fraya casts spare the dying on Mystie and Gnomi. The gnome snaps out of it and says it felt good while it was going on, but couldn't find out where the scepter was. Virgil confirms they are now in Alighieri's bowels, and points out a sphincter that would lead out of. Forming a chain with the unconcious merfolk, the party heads towards the exit and a current pulls them through it and down the zigzag path. Characters Party * Arson Nicki - drider warlock * Butylene O'Kipple - tiefling alchemist ** Hella FizzGerald - familiar (toad form) * Fraya Love - water genasi cleric * Londyn Bradshaw - firbolg druid NPCs * Alighieri (setting) * Gnomi Malone * Virgil * Geryon (debut) * Glamazon Receptionist * Patrick * Rescued Merfolk * Mystie Seaport * Dampthroat (debut?) Monsters/Enemies * Asthmatic Space Swordsman (Illusion) Episode Notes Lore * The Kracken is looking for a new Priest. Mystie Seaport, Gnomi Malone, and Patrick are all candidates. Memorable Quotes * "Nothing a little musical theater can't do to shake you from your untruthful ways." - Arson Nicki * "Heathens? Says the person who eats pineapple on pizza." - Londyn Bradshaw * "I've been working on my counter-fitness." - Butylene O'Kipple * "Of course its true name is something that your feeble meatflaps can neither comprehend nor utter." - "Rude." - "That's a Long Name." - Dampthroat, Arson Nicki, and Butylene O'Kipple. * "I'm looking at the gay agenda here and unfortunately that is not an entry." - Arson Nicki * "I'm due for brunch tomorrow so that's a hard no." - Fraya Love * "I'm going to need some protection before supplication. That's just how I roll." - Butylene O'Kipple * "What if the creature was a drag queen, does that count as a beast?" - Butylene O'Kipple * "Girl there's illusory magic everywhere, so I think they're a loser." - Fraya Love * "But how damp is the throat though?" - Londyn Bradshaw * "Fraya Love the Drag Performer from Seattle appears in the water next to you." - "And she's gonna be late." - "When am I ever late?!" - DM Matt, Butylene O'Kipple, and Fraya Love * "So what the hell was this, a hemorrhoid?" - Fraya Love References * Jeopardy - Alex Trebek * Liza Minelli * Vivacious's line: Liza Minelli, Lies * Bon Fossi * Bob Macke * Wizard of Oz * Ursula - Little Mermaid * Dory - Finding Nemo * Ellen Degeneris * Borg * Brittney Spears (various eras) * Kevin Federline * Elza Dushku * Bring it On * Eliza Doolittle * Darth Vader and Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGreggor form) * Severus Snape * Ewan McGreggor from Moulin Rouge * Robert Preston from the Music Man * Chris Crocker * Satan from Dante's Inferno * Big Bad Wolf * Press Your Luck - No Whammies * Dark Crystal * Preparation H * Miss Frizzle - Magic School Bus * Goonies Name That Tune * "Spiderwebs" - No Doubt * "Dark is a Dungeon" - Merle Travis * "Can't Get You Outta My Head" - Kylie Minogue * "Sound of Silence" - Simon and Garfunkle * "Elephant Love Medley" - Moulin Rouge * "76 Trombones" - The Music Man Behind the Queens In this episode, the queens head through two more chambers of Alighieri, based off of the circles of deceit and treachery from Dante's Inferno. Fraya discovers she has been calculating her saves wrong. Category:Episodes Category:Season One